As I have no real family obligations this Christmas, I'm in a state of high anticipation. I'm envisioning entire days spent in my flannel pajamas and a bathrobe with an enviable bedhead, watching "Diehard" movies with my boyfriend, El Cerebro.
Instead of spending all day cooking a giant traditional meal, I will eat festive buffet snacks and chocolate, while nursing a nice glass of red wine at all times, my feet propped up on an ottoman, poised like a beautiful lady villain from a James Bond movie, only with substantially less chance of being caught pouting sexily as I plant a bomb in a Russian embassy before bedding the suave 007. And perhaps a bit less grace and beauty.
It's not that we have anything against family Christmases. El Cerebro and I both are blessed with rather splendiferous families who all get along swimmingly and provide many hours of informal hilarity, however, as both of our families live far away, we delighted in opting out this year in order to indulge our own mean feast of awe inspiring selfishness right here at home. The possibilities are endless. We could dance naked, except for chocolate body paint, around the Christmas tree, drinking eggnog if we so desired. We could stay up all night playing video games then get up at noon and stay in pajamas all day long without anyone frowning at us. We can eat chocolate. For breakfast!
Our fantastic lazy Christmas will involve having a buffet table stacked with snacks and drinks and some desserts and of course, booze of varying types which we will dip into all day whenever the mood takes us. Tonight we go shopping for some tasty cheeses, crackers, pickled items, cocktail sticks, maraschino cherries, variety of breads, condiments, dips and chips and some wine and spirits. It's shaping up to be quite the holiday - a feast of food, drink, naps, debauchery and movie watching, while avoiding going out in the snow.
There will be devilled eggs and home made potato salad, stuffed olives, caramel shortcake, cheese balls and cocktail sticks loaded with sweet pickled onions with strong cheddar and pineapple chunks. There will be assorted chips and dips and carrot sticks and carmelized onion hummus.
There will be gluttony on high and much drooling. And a wetbar!
Then on Sunday we will lie around groaning and holding our stomachs before tucking into leftovers and wine and complaining about our swollen bellies and starting diets.
May all your holidays be as jolly.