Apparently you're no one till you write a blog.  That's what the kids keep telling me and if I learned anything in my time on Earth it's that the kids know their onions.  Except when their onions are Facebook.  Or that MySpace thing.  In these cases the kids managed to mistake their onions for a big, steaming heap of shit.  Fucking kids.

I'm ok with Twitter because the less characters the kids have to say the inane shit they spout daily, the better if you ask me.  I'm fully aware you didn't ask me but I'm telling you anyway.

So I caved in to the demands of electronic culture and decided to start my own blog.  I mean I've seen some blogs and if a lady in Edmonton can talk all day about matching her toilet paper to her wallpaper, I think I can come up with something to say.  I mean I don't mean to be rude lady, but fuck.  There's a lot of life out there, you might want to go grab some next time you're at Safeway or something.  Just toss it in there with your powder pink toilet paper and your jug of pomegranate juice.  Toilet paper is only important when it's absorbing liquid ca-ca from your bum hole.

Before I actually post a real entry I'd like to thank some guy I don't know called 'Bigbluetotoro' because that's his image I ripped off to make my header.  I just found it randomly on the web. I have two things to say to Bigbluetotoro.  Firstly I'd like to say WTF man?  And secondly I'd like to thank him for letting me steal his awesome photo even though he doesn't know and even though I'm slightly north of disturbed that there's a dude out there who likes dressing up as a dolphin.   And that such a creature lives among us and not in some maximum security insane penitentiary on like, some island in the middle of the godforsaken Arctic Ocean where he so obviously belongs.   You're good people Bigbluetotoro.   I pray your flippers can't hold a hunting knife.

And so hello.  I'm here, I'm not queer, but if I was queer, so what?

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