Another year, another adventure I like to say. Actually I’ve never said that but it seems like a good motto going forward, I think. What will 2011 bring? Hang Gliding maybe, I’ve always wanted to try it. Or Para-gliding. Maybe water skiing or becoming a better cook. Who knows, it’s early days yet. But I like the throbbing possibility that anything is within my reach, because the turn of another year means a blank slate ready to be written. I’ve already been trying to drink more water and pledge my sanity to tomatoes instead of cheese, so that’s a start.
I don’t normally bother with resolutions, mainly because honestly, who ever keeps them for more than a week? I’m like everyone else. I want to eat better, exercise more and be svelte and sexy by summer so I can let my pale limbs loose on the world without terrifying small children or dogs. I’d settle for dogs. I like dogs! Small children terrify me with their incessant questions and their silent scrutiny, I’d really welcome a reason to blind them with my pasty white, untoned appendages.
Instead of resolutions I decided to write a list of ten things, that in a fantastical, beautiful existence, I would absolutely accomplish this year.
1) Grow two more inches so I can finally be five foot eight and pants would fit me properly without hemming
2) Learn to appreciate good wine instead of whatever’s on sale
3) Go to Spain and speak Spanish complete with sexy accent and tantalize the locals with my giant beauty that is mainly just in my head
4) Do something naked and scandalous with Captain Mal Reynolds from “Firefly”.
5) Get a haircut that costs more than twenty bucks for a change and that doesn’t look like I drank a forty of gin and hacked it off myself with a carving knife
6) Do something else naked and scandalous with Captain Mal Reynolds from “Firefly”
7) Invent creamy, great tasting, yet aspartame and calorie-free chocolate that is full of vitamins and therefore good for you
8) Get rich from above invention and possibly win the Nobel Peace Prize
9) Go somewhere tropical and drink cocktails with umbrellas in them, till I pop. These will be magic cocktails that are not only good for you but make you slimmer and look like you’re 25.
Happy new year, everyone!